i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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