You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
