ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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