If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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