I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Send help, water and tortillas.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
