At least make sure they are 18
Why
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
