My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
