just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I didn't notice because vodka
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
