dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
