If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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