what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
