I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
