wakey wakey hands off snakey
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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