Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
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we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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