Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
