Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
