I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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