White coat. Heels.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
