Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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