i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
