he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
