i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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