Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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