I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
