We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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