Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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