I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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