so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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