She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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