She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
