I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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