Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
