This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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