Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
