i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im six kinds of drunk right now
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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