If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just sent this text using only my big toe
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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