Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize