Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That was before I lit my hair on fire
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
