my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
