His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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