im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Operation Purity has been aborted
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
