She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
