Porn is love you can see.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
