you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize