is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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