Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
