I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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