What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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