You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
40s are totally the cure
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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