i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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