i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
