More tranny stories later!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
