LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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