I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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