It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
