This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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