I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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