there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
