remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
