I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
